Safety at Home

By Whitney

My car is sort of an SUV, but really it’s about the size of a station wagon, simply heightened to compete with other tall vehicles on the road these days. As a result, I don’t do any carpooling.  Besides my own two kids, both still in carseats, another child’s seat cannot fit in the back.

Today, under the tutelage of my daughter’s preschool director, I squeezed a third carseat into my backseat. And with three preschool girls in the back, off I drove on a field trip to our local science museum. The girls entertained me with their conversation, first about pee and poop, and then asking each other which of their parents turns them upside down. (Apparently turning one’s child upside down is the hallmark of a good parent in the eyes of the 3-year olds.) I tried not to worry about the placement of the carseats and whether or not the back doors were going to swing open under the pressure of that molded plastic pressing against them. But I did worry about those things.

I pulled into the parking lot, next to a dad who had chaperoned three little boys in a compact sedan which he told me had never before hosted three carseats. We both hoped that the carseats were wedged in safely and that the belts were adjusted exactly right.

Didn’t this used to be easier? I remember riding to preschool in the FRONT SEAT of my dad’s car. In gradeschool, my parents drove me and my cousin cross-country while we laid down in the hatchback of my mom’s car for days on end. We made ourselves a cave back there, sometimes collapsing only one of the seats and squeezing ourselves together into a seat intended for one adult, laughing our heads off as we fastened one big seatbelt around the two of us. We were free to wiggle around the cabin, as it were.

But, I also remember my stepmom pulling up to a parking space when I was about 4. I sat in the front passenger seat, probably weighing no more than 30 lbs. This was the late 70s. As she rolled the car into place, she bonked the cement marker that indicates the parking space, jolting my face into the glove compartment of the car.  My first bloody nose.

While this injury was minor, the guilt carried by my parent was major. She still brings it up occasionally. I hate to think of that feeling, of making a mistake so tiny, one that I make frequently, but which results in my child getting essentially punched in the face.  And thankfully, due to the laws and restrictions on children riding in cars, I won’t have to.

Today I felt assured that even though my children’s road trip memories won’t include them sitting backwards, laying down, switching seats on the freeway, but rather buckled across the chest without freedom, they will still be able to giggle their heads off.

By Whitney

This weekend I went skiing for the first time since my children were born.  We live in (mostly) sunny California, where this endeavor requires a 3-hour drive to the mountains. While the rest of the country has run out of fingers and toes on which to count their snow days, my husband and I decided, along with another family of four, to drop a bucket of money on a rental house and lift tickets in order to get access to some of that good white stuff.

We enrolled the kids in ski school, as much for their own benefit as for ours. One of them cried her way into an early pick up (darn those cell phones that work on the mountain!) and the rest of them muddled through it. That night, they all were very clear that they did not want to go back in the morning.

Here’s where I moved outside my comfort zone. Channeling my inner tiger mom, I asked the other parents to support me in a united front. “Everyone will go to ski school tomorrow,” we told them. “You might have a little bit of fun, and it might be hard, but you will go either way.”

Gasp.

I realized how very little we ask our kids to do that is unpleasant for them. We turn everything into a game. We make learning fun. We let them choose their activities. We tell them that trying is good enough.

Is it? I now think maybe it is not. Trying to ski for one day and then giving up will not get you very far down the learning curve. We have not insisted that our son learn to tie his shoes or ride a 2-wheeler either, and guess what? He cannot do those things.

A harmless fall on skis can be met with three possible reactions.

1. Empathy: I don’t like falling either. I bet that hurt a little. Are you ok? Should we keep going?
2. Minimizing: Hop up! Let’s keep going.
3. Ignoring: Meet me right down there.

I could not help myself but to keep delivering empathetic statements to my son as he struggled down his first run with me, post lesson. Upon reflection, I’ve concluded that this was completely counter-productive. I was indulging him and inviting him to quit.  He needs to know that I have higher expectations, and that I believe he can do it. I’m going to point myself towards options 2 or 3 next time.

What difficult-to-learn skill have you insisted your children work on against their wishes? Did you motivate them with encouraging support or strong standards?

By Heather

Our family recently recognized “International Walk (or Roll) to School Day” by letting our five-year-old and three-year-old bike to their schools.

With the big boy, we got a very early start and rode on a combination of sidewalks and marked bike boulevards. Once, Holden got confused about the markings on the pavement – he saw a bike symbol on the wrong side of the road and wanted to cross over – but the ride went pretty smoothly.

I suggested that he use hand signals for turns and stops and he said, “mom, I feel better if I keep both hands on the handlebars” – can’t really argue with that. I then suggested that he use loud verbal signals when he wanted to stop or turn. He was up for that.

I praised him for being safe.

The little guy went to his preschool (less than half a mile away) with his dad walking by his side. Milo is new to his balance bike and not very steady yet. He convinced my husband to push him every other block on his way to preschool. It was a technique that worked pretty well optimizing back strain, speed, tired legs, and safety in equal measures.

I wish I could tell you that the journey home was as successful. Instead, there were actually a few blocks where I tried carrying all the bikes at once. I’ll leave the rest of details to your imagination, offering only five hard-earned tips:

1. provide adequate food and water to little bikers
2. do not bike further than they can handle
3. remind small children on bikes that YOU are the safety boss and unsafe behavior is not acceptable
4. praise safe behavior and safe choices
5. follow the lead of your slowest, weakest rider

By Whitney

We’ve certainly talked about drowning issues before, and today I’m not going to summarize all the safety tips related to water. I just became aware of a super cute character who is acting as sort of the ‘Smokey Bear’ of water safety.

Jabari (and his cast of African animal friends) is designed to appeal to the under 5’s, to engage them and talk to them about basic water safety in a positive way.

There’s a book starring Jabari that will enable you to introduce him to your children, Jabari Makes A Splash, available at Amazon or through the web-site www.jabariofthewater.com.

And for those who want some immediate contact with this cuddly lion, there’s a coloring contest. Parents can download coloring pages of Jabari and friends, and friends and family members can vote for their favorites. The weekly winner receives a free downloadable copy of the book to print on their home printer and a paperback copy sent to the school, library, preschool or daycare center of their choice.

Use Jabari as a tool to talk to your children about water safety before you get to your swimming destination. The lessons will have a greater opportunity to sink in if they are not delivered on the deck of the pool to kids who are itching to get in the water.

By Whitney

All of my children’s grandparents live just a road trip away. And not just an hour away, but a half-day’s drive. We made our first long driving trip with a 4-week old baby and since then we’ve done it about six or eight times per year.

I confess: we have a portable DVD player with two screens that hook onto the back of our seats. So that occupies our now 3 and 6-year old for much of any long drive. But with so many road trips under our belt now, I thought I’d share a few tips for keeping the kids occupied and the parents sane.

1. For kids who are old enough to use a clipboard and pen, print off some car games before you leave and break them out when needed. Moms MiniVan is a terrific resource for printable bingo sheets. Even kids who can’t read can search for stop signs, airplanes and bridges to cross off their bingo sheet.
2. Gum. If your child is old enough to chew gum, it can be a good “treat” for the car. Mint-flavored especially will help ward off carsickness.
3. Word games. My six-year old and I played a verbal hide-and-seek game in the car recently. He picked a hiding place in our house and I described the path I was taking to find him. The virtual aspect of this game allows older kids to hide in absurd places like inside the oven.
4. Travel companions. We always allow our kids to bring several stuffed animal friends with them. Somehow sitting in the carseat for a long time is made more comfortable by having a lovey to clutch.
5. Prepare for sun. If your kiddos will wear sunglasses, terrific. You may also want to bring removable sunshades or even a baby blanket to prop as needed to block any glares that will irritate your kids.

By Heather

Necessity is the mother of invention and every kooky infomercial was borne from someone who needed a device that met those specifications.

I recently saw this SafetyTat, a colorful temporary tattoo to label your child in case he wanders off. It was developed by a mom of three kids after a crowded weekend at an amusement park. The latest version of the product allows you to fully customize the tattoo before ordering it.

In the past, I would have used my trusty Sharpie marker to label my kid for the day (as seen on ParentHacks: write your cell phone number on your child’s belly).

Would you or your kid be happier using a safety tattoo?

Related:

Mommy Must-Have: SafetyTat

When a toddler wanders off

By Whitney

Do your children insist on wearing shorts or short sleeves when you feel certain that it’s sweater weather?

“I LIKE to be cold!” my six-year old son always says when I attempt to hand him a sweatshirt.

This weekend my daughter insisted on wearing a dress “with no pants underneath so that everyone will see my underwear.”  Ok, then!

My husband successfully convinced her that it was too cold for that. Score one for the parents.

And Heather’s little boy? He wears the same red sweatshorts every single day*.  Lucky for us, we live in California and rarely see ice on our windshields. But still, bare legs when it’s 40 degrees out can make a momma worry.

How do we judge accurately if our child’s fashion sense is actually an issue? After all, a few goosebumps never hurt anyone and is probably not worth a morning battle between parent and child.

Touch your child’s belly to learn if his core is warm enough. If he feels warm under his shirt, his body temperature is fine.  Remember that little kids have faster metabolisms than we do. They also run around like maniacs, even when it’s just to go retrieve a book from a shelf.

*Rest assured that the famed red shorts will be mounted in the “It Was Only A Phase” Toddler Hall of Fame.

By Heather

Magnets are cool. They stick to each other and weird things; they repel each other too. Try to connect the train cars backwards and it just won’t work. Wow. My children love magnetic toys as well as regular-old refrigerator magnets. We have letters (that talk!), pictures of family and friends, and relics of Internet companies long since bankrupt.

For young children, it is important to keep magnetic toys larger than a roll of toilet paper in circumference so they cannot be accidentally ingested. If one magnet is swallowed, it will likely pass through the digestive system with the discomfort of eating any non-food object. Ouch.

If more than one magnet is ingested, it can kill. Magnets in pairs will stick together in odd ways in parts of the body that were never meant to be sealed off.

Make sure to keep particularly strong and tiny magnets far away from children’s reach – you’d be surprised how far UP the fridge my boys can reach – unless they are carefully supervised.

Read Beware of Magnetic Mayhem for more detail than I can stomach.