Beyond “No”

By Whitney

beyondno

Keeping your clueless toddler away from hot, sharp, and electrically charged things is just part of the job. We start this process by saying “No!” in a stern voice, and reinforcing what that means by moving the dangerous item or moving the baby. “No” becomes such an easy access word, doesn’t it? Stored at the front part of your brain, it enables us to respond quickly with a straightforward command.

But it’s not really a command, is it? And it’s not an explanation. By the time a child is two years old, according to my pediatrician, she really can understand deeper explanations for why she must not touch things and should be introduced to the terms “safe” and “dangerous.”

A year or so ago, my mom was giving my son a bath, and he kept standing up. She tried to reason with him. She asked nicely. She was clearly trying to avoid threatening him with ending the bath (which I would have done easily, but I understand that Grandma doesn’t want to discipline during their precious short visits). Finally she blurted out, “It’s just not safe!” And he sat down.

Kids understand so much, even if they cannot use the words themselves. Moving from “No” to a more sophisticated discussion of “You could fall down and get an owie,” “Stroller buckles keep kids safe,” or “You need to wait for a grown-up to help you,” is the next step toward helping kids make good choices when it comes to safety.